


Something About You

by mochary



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cheating, High School, Homophobia, M/M, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Romance, Sexuality Crisis, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-08-27 03:19:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8385196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochary/pseuds/mochary
Summary: Tsukishima Kei always blocked people out ever since the death of his older brother. There was nothing more to him than music and glasses. Then, after a few connections with teachers, Kei is forced to have a session with the school psychologist, Kuroo Tetsurou, who seems to be perfect in all ways. Even though he knows it's wrong, Kei finds himself falling for him as well as juggling his sexuality. The only thing stopping him is the silver ring gleaming on Kuroo's left hand.





	1. Incipient

**Author's Note:**

> Incipient - beginning to happen or develop.
> 
> hello there!! thanks for clicking on this fanfic ;) ;). pls leave behind a kudos and comment to tell me if i should keep posting. I got this idea randomly during the day and started writing it asap. i plan it to have only about 5 chapters (could possibly be more or less) but that is my main goal. the chapters might range from 2-5 thousand words, depending on how i feel.  
> i have no other works but this isnt my first time posting, if any of you wanna chat pls ask down in the comments for my social media :D:D. please note that the characters age and height's arent the same as the anime/manga. there's no volleyball in this fanfiction.
> 
>  
> 
> (p.s, please leave a kudos & sorry for any mistakes!)

 “You need to get your grades up, Tsukishima.” Mr. Takeda pointed to the red D that was printed on the test sheet, “It’s not good to apply for universities with this kind of score.”

Tsukishima Kei tried hard not to roll his eyes followed by a sigh. Right now, he couldn’t care less about university or grades. He wasn’t planning to go off to college and live that life. There was nothing in store for him but grey skies. He could see it in his dreams. He suddenly felt the heat waver off the windows. Kei shifted in his seat.

“It’s my choice.” Kei crossed his arms around his chest.

Mr. Takeda sighed leaning back in his uncomfortable looking chair. His glasses were askew and bags hung from his eyes. It must be tiring to teach idiots all day. “Don’t you think it’s time to see Mr. Kuroo?”

“Kuroo – who?”

The name rang a bell right in the back of his mind. Someone that his mother or father talked to him about but either wasn’t paying attention or just didn’t care. Ever since the accident, Kei didn’t care about anything except his own health.

“The school psychologist.”

Ah, that would make sense.

“He’s one of the best out there. A lot of students have been a lot better since talking to him.” Takeda explained. “I’m surprised you haven’t seen him ever since-“

“I don’t think it’s necessary.” Kei flashed a fake smile, grabbing his over the shoulder bag from the ground. “I need to get going. I have work.”

Takeda raised an eyebrow, “Since when do you work?”        

“Since last week. Thank you, sir. I’ll be off now.” Kei stood from his chair, clutching the bag in his hands.

“Yes! And please think about seeing Mr. Kuroo. It will help you out. I’m sure of it.”

Kei nodded and escaped the stuffy classroom before he could say anything else. It was weird having a conversation so casually with his own teacher. It felt like he was doing something scandalous. The job thing was a total lie. Kei would never get a job unless he had to and right now, he felt too depressed to do anything. One thing that distracted him was messing with guys from the gay club he visited often. It wasn’t something he talked to himself about, it was something he kind of fell into without meaning. Kei never thought about being gay, but with guys, he felt more himself than with girls. Maybe it was because girls were way too far for him to reach or it was just because he had no attraction to them at all.

Kei halted at his locker and shoving all the books he had inside before shutting it with a bang. He had never seen Mr. Kuroo around before – neither did he know where his office was.

He had heard rumours saying he was caught making out with a student – but that ended up being a total lie.

“Did you see Mr. Kuroo with that shirt today? Totally hot~” A girl walking past giggled in a high-pitched voice.

 _Great. He’s one of those._ Kei thought to himself as he exited the building. He didn’t need any help – he could do everything by himself. He knew if he believed that Akiteru was there with him, he could get through the rest of high school alone. The music helped, but depressing lyrics reminded him of when he heard the news that his brother passed away in an accident. That was when he stopped listening to punk and moved onto lighter music that he found on _Top Ten Pop Songs of 2016._ There were a few about heartbreak which Kei couldn’t exactly relate to. He’d never been attached to someone enough to feel physical pain when they broke up.

Kei pulled out his phone which was currently playing _Hallelujah by Panic! At The Disco._ This was more of his type of music than anything else he could find. There was a message, waiting for him.

_Yamaguchi  
3:08pm: when did you wanna meet up? Im free rn ;)_

Kei sighed, tucking it back into his pocket.

************************************************************

“How are things with your girlfriend?” Kei asked, blowing a puff of smoke from the cigarette they were both sharing. It was the aftermath of sex. The room was thick with smoke and heat. The sheets thrown all over the place. Kei felt a bead of sweat roll down his neck as he watched Yamaguchi pull his boxers back on. He probably could go another round but thought better of it. He was too lazy, anyway. Kei still lay fully naked with only a thin white sheet covering his lower half-hard half.

“We’re…. going okay.” He shrugged, jumping back onto the bed attacking Kei’s neck with his lips.

Kei closed his eyes and enjoyed the attention. Yamaguchi was the only one he slept with more than once, mainly because they both wanted distractions and felt comfortable most with each other. Kei didn’t like that he was cheating, but he got used to it. Yamaguchi reassured him that his relationship with his girlfriend was open.

“What kind of ‘okay?” Kei rolled his eyes, leaning his neck to the side for more access.

Yamaguchi smirked, “We haven’t kissed in about a month-okay.”

“And why?”

“She goes through phases of not wanting to be touched.” He shrugged, flopping back against the pillows.

“Strange.” Kei mumbled pushing up his glasses from the middle. He felt a wave of melancholy wash over him. Kei didn’t exactly know how to feel at times like these. He was post-sex and his mind was running with thoughts he desperately tried to avoid.

“I should probably go soon.” Kei announced when he realised it was way past 6pm. Not that his mother knew any different. She was too caught up in her mind to care about anything else. Kei had a feeling he was a mistake, and a big one.

 

Kei came home to loud shouting and glass being thrown. It definitely wasn’t something that he wanted to walk into, but he didn’t want to stand in the cold any longer. For the past few weeks it had been freezing at night. Winter was still two months away.

“I don’t wanna talk about it!” Kei heard his mother shout back at whatever his father was on about. Kei breathed in heavy, stepping into the house and immediately his mother eyes were on him. It wasn’t unusual that he came home late like this, he always told them he studied at the library and lost track of time. His amount of studying didn’t match up to his grades. Kei usually faked his own grades by messing with the paper he got. Luckily, the school never bothered to ring his parents due to it being a shitty public school where they don’t care. The silent that hung in the room was unsteadying and Kei took this as an opportunity to slip his jacket off. The warmth from the heater made it an uncomfortable heat throughout the house.

“So,” Kei started, setting his jacket down on the couch, “When’s the divorce?”

His mother fumed, “That’s not funny, Kei. Where were you? At the library? _Again_?”

“I need to study to get good grades.”

“You can do it here.” His father chimed in from the kitchen. The smell of burnt toast made its way to his nose.

“The library is quieter.” Kei admitted.

Ever since Akiteru passed away, his parents haven’t been the same. They’ve fought almost every day for the past year and everything in Kei’s life feels like its crashing down in one motion. Akiteru was his best friend, his _only_ friend and now, he’s gone. It wasn’t fair – God was punishing him. And now Kei had sinned, he betrayed God in a way that couldn’t be forgiven. Kei knew deep down he liked guys but never wanted to admit it to himself. It was hard. Even though he watched many ‘Coming Out’ videos on YouTube, he didn’t know how they did it so easily. It probably took a lot of courage but Kei’s life wasn’t that easy. Nothing was easy for him. Falling in love would be worse.

“We weren’t that loud, were we?” Mrs. Tsukishima’s eyes widened, “Could you hear us from outside?”

“Yes.” Was all Kei said before rushing upstairs towards his room.

 

 

 “Tsukishima Kei.”

“Tsukishima Kei..”

“Tsukishima Kei!”

Kei’s eyes popped open at the sound of his name. He almost forgot where he was for a moment. He glanced around the classroom to notice no one was around, the bell had long gone. He wiped slight dribble off his mouth and looked at the teacher that stood with a hard glance in front of him.

Mr. Yamazaki shook his head, “That’s the second time this week you’ve fallen asleep in class.”

“I’m sorry, sir. I have been studying a lot lately.” Kei gathered his things. He wanted to hurry out, and fast.

Mr. Yamazaki leaned against the front desk, “I think you should see Mr. Kuroo. He’s great, you know.”

This time, Kei rolled his eyes. He couldn’t take it anymore. The second teacher that had suggested ‘Mr. Kuroo’ to him. It was honestly annoying. How great can this guy be? Most of his patients are probably horny girls wanting to get with him. Was he all that amazing? Kei wasn’t one to judge but he was definitely staying away from this ‘Kuroo’ guy. For all he knew, he could be a pervert with teenage girls.

Kei clenched his teeth, “I don’t need to see him. I’m perfectly fine.”

“You’re not fine, Tsukishima.” Mr. Yamazaki raised his eyebrows, “I’ll talk to him about you.”

“It’s really unnecessary.” Kei gritted through his teeth

Mr. Yamazaki flashed him a look, “You’re going to see him right now.”

“ _What?_ ” Kei gaped, “I’m busy-“

“You see him right now or detention for the next month. I’m trying to help.” Mr. Yamazaki said sternly.

“That’s stupid-“

“Let’s go.” Yamazaki shuffled over to the classroom door and pulled it open. Kei stood there, staring into space. How could a teacher force a student to meet with a psychologist when they don’t want to? Kei groaned under his breath, stepping out of the classroom with Yamazaki at his heels. Kei could make a run for it now, but didn’t want to cause a scene. It was too much of a hassle. Mr. Yamazaki lead him to another floor up, and made Kei realise how enormous this school really is. He led him down one more hall filled with all types of students. Mr Yamazaki halted at a door with the sign “Guidance Counsellor” written in bold letters. Without knocking, Mr. Yamazaki whipped the door open to an empty room. It wasn’t exactly what Kei expected. It was neater, with the desk facing the door. The desk had two seats for the patients to sit on and a couch under the window. It felt airy. It smelt of fresh flowers. A bookshelf in the far corner was lined with files and a few photo frames. One was broken. He couldn’t exactly make out the picture.

“He should be here soon, take a seat.” Yamazaki nodded to the chair.

“How did you know he wasn’t here...?” Kei asked cautiously. It was like Yamazaki had planned this all along. Kei suddenly felt aware.

Yamazaki flashed a smile, “He’s always grabbing a glass of water at this time.”

He knew his timetable? _Creepy_. Kei wanted to leave now, he was starting to miss last period and didn’t feel safe with this teacher _. At all_.

Kei took a seat, setting his bag in his lap and felt the teachers eyes on him at all time. He felt _extremely_ uncomfortable. Where was that damn psychologist?

“Yamazaki!” A voice called from the door. It was unrecognisable – but Yamazaki seemed happy to see him. Kei kept his head down, focusing on his phone that he pulled out. He wasn’t good at socialising, so he tried to avoid it a lot of the time by plugging his earphones in at full blast. It usually worked. Though, his parents were furious when he wouldn’t respond to them straight away.

A hand suddenly tugged at his earphones. An unfamiliar face popped into his vision. The person tugged harder, making the bud fall out of his ear, but Kei was frozen.

Kei hadn’t remembered the last time he saw someone he found super attractive. It was probably years ago – not that Yamaguchi wasn’t good looking. But, Yamaguchi wasn’t exactly his type per se. Yamaguchi had an innocent vibe to him at times and Kei leads to being the submissive more. Although, Yamaguchi switched for Kei. Only for Kei. Kei stared at the person before him, the man was talking but Kei couldn’t hear anything. He couldn’t take his eyes away.

“You’re extremely attractive.” Kei blurted out.

Heat rushed to his face.

_What the fuck did I just say?_

The first time he met this guy – who he suspected to be ‘Mr. Kuroo’ and he said that? It wasn’t a good impression. Now Kuroo was going to think he goes after teachers, and that wasn’t the case at all. Kei did like older people, but not to extent of teachers.

Mr. Kuroo looked to be in his early twenties, with black hair and a stupid fringe that made Kei want to pull his hair out. His fringe flopped just over his right eye, Kei wanted to brush it away. It seemed irritating.

Kei widened his eyes, ripping out the other earbud that was still playing music incredibly loud. Mr. Kuroo was now positioned onto of his desk, still talking about something.

“I didn’t mean to say that before.” Kei cut him off, bowing slightly with his head. He tucked his phone back into his bag and zipped it shut.

“I get it all the time.” Kuroo chuckled, “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

_He didn’t even question my sexuality._

“I don’t want to be here.” Kei admitted, turning his gaze to the table. A metal plate imprinted _‘Kuroo Tetsurou’_ sat on his desk. Other than that, a few papers and pens.

“I’m aware. But I think I can help you, Tsukishima, is it?”

Kei gulped and nodded slowly as he watched Kuroo take a seat at his desk.

“Call me Kei,” He blinked, “please.”

“Okay, Kei.” Kuroo flashed a smile, writing down something on a piece of paper, “How old are you?”

“A-almost eighteen.” Kei stuttered, “You?”

“Twenty-three, in November.”

_That’s five years’ difference, Kei. Get it together._

Kei nodded, wiping his palms on his shorts. Why did he feel this way? He shouldn’t. Kei was becoming like all the other hormonal teenage girls in school. This wasn’t right. Kuroo wasn’t _actually_ supposed to be this attractive.

“You can ask me any questions. It’s normal to know about the person you’re telling your problems to.” Kuroo reassured, writing a few things down before looking back up. “What’s life at home like, Kei?”

“Nothing exciting.” Kei shrugged. He felt himself start to relax a bit.

Kuroo pursed his lips. “Do you think of yourself as boring?”

Kei looked up at Kuroo, who was staring at him with a hint of curiosity. Kei wouldn’t be able to come back here again. He needed to lie – to do something. Kei wasn’t going to risk anything at this point.

“I really don’t need to be here. I-“Kei took a deep breath, “I’m already talking to someone about my problems.”

A look flashed over Kuroo’s face. It was obvious he was lying. A deep feeling arose from Kei’s chest as he slowly stood up, the chair screeching back. He winced. “A friend. A really good friend, actually. They help me out, a lot.”

“I see…” Kuroo trailed off, his pen smoothly writing over the paper. “I’ll make you a deal.”

Kei froze. “A deal?”

“If you sit back down I’ll tell you.”

Kei did as he was told. There was a chance of detention, and Kei wouldn’t be able to bare it. At least he wasn’t stuck with some old, cranky teacher that shouted at every move he made.

“For one month, come to me for counselling and if you decide it’s not for you, then I’ll leave you alone.” Kuroo suggested with a slight smile.

“For a whole month?”

Kuroo nodded, his hair moving up and down with his movement. “One whole month. Monday’s and Thursday’s.”

“I don’t know…”

“I want to help you.” Kuroo confessed, looking directly into his eyes. “Please.”

“O-okay.”

Kei felt special, but then reminded himself Kuroo does this professionally and wanted to help everyone, not just him. Sometimes, he wished people would do things for him and him only. That chance was low. Very.

“Great!” Kuroo let out a sigh of relief. “Anything specific you want to talk about?”

Kei looked around the room. The gaze of Kuroo made his face heat up. “I think my parents might get a divorce soon.”

“Are they fighting a lot?” He asked immediately, jotting a few more things down.

“Ever since my b-brother died. Yes.”

“That’s normal. You shouldn’t worry too much. Take your mind off things. What do you do in your spare time?” Kuroo leaned forward in his chair. His eyes showed that he was intrigued.

“I-“ Kei closed his eyes for a brief second. “I go to parties.”

“What kind?”

Kei watched as he wrote more things down. For some reason, his palms wouldn’t stop sweating. Kei shifted in his seat.

“Don’t worry. No one else will see this.” Kuroo said, jabbing at the paper.

“The usual teenage parties.” Kei lied, fiddling with the straps of his bag.

“You don’t seem like that type of person.”

“You don’t know me.”

Kuroo smiled. “That’s true. Hopefully that’ll change.”

 

 

Half an hour later, Kei was walking out of the airy room feeling lighter than ever. It could have been the fever coming on – or the attractive teacher he spent almost 40 minutes talking to. Kei felt like he could trust him, even more than his parents. There was something about him, something about him that made Kei’s heart beat faster than usual.

He was definitely someone to avoid.


	2. Labyrinthine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Labyrinthine - twisting and turning
> 
> ahhh guys!!! i cant believe how many kudos i got on the first chapter! thank yall so much :)  
> because of that i know i had to post the second one asap, so here it is!!!! sorry if it seems a bit fast paced  
> but im all about that, tbh. dont worry, hopefully the next chapter wont be as quick~  
> but i do love me some kurotsuki so ^.^  
> leave a comment & a kudos if you havent already to support me, it makes my day :D. 
> 
>  
> 
> (p.s, sorry for any mistakes!)

**Week 2**

The weekend rolled past in an instant, and before Kei knew it, he was already walking the crowded halls of school.

“What’s with that look?” Yamaguchi asked, coming up to Kei with his bag slung under his arm.

“School.” Kei mumbled without looking up at him. Yamaguchi was the only one he went to school with out of the people his slept with. A majority were either in college or working, and between the ages of 18-20. Kei tried not to go past it. But all weekend, he couldn’t stop thinking about Kuroo. Maybe it was because of how attractive he turned out to be – or the way Kei had felt around him. It was something he had never felt before. The way Kuroo’s eyes stared into him like he knew every inch and secret that he held.

“Have you seen Mr. Kuroo before?” Kei asked, trying to act as disinterested as he could. Yamaguchi stared at him for a few seconds before leaning against the lockers.

“Seen him? As in have a session?”

“Yeah.”

“I have.” Yamaguchi nodded. “When I was going through a depression stage, actually.”

“Did he help you?”

“He did. A lot. Though, it was last year. And uh-“Yamaguchi uncomfortably scratched the back of his neck. “We made out once.”

Kei blinked, frozen in mid-air. “Y-you _made out_?”

Yamaguchi nodded, “We got drunk. It didn’t mean anything, really.”

“He’s a teacher-“

“Not really. He doesn’t teach, just helps.”

“Still-“

“Look. Can you forget I told you that? It was just a kiss, at least we didn’t sleep together.”

Kei sighed just as the speakers in the hallway switched on, static screeched, making everyone jump at their lockers.

“Sorry about that.” The principal apologised through the microphone. “There’s going to be an assembly when the bell goes. Everyone, please make your way to the assembly hall. Thank you.”

 

 

As soon as Kei walked through the doors of the hall, that was crowded with students, he felt someone’s eyes on him immediately. He looked around, scoping the room out, adjusting his glasses as he followed the line. He scanned the seats line with teachers until he met eye contact with Kuroo. He was directly staring into Kei’s eyes, like he expected them to meet. Kei felt a shiver run through his body and glanced to the floor, looking back up a second later to see a smirk on his face. A blush crept up Kei’s neck, and he felt his pulse pounding by the second. He breathed heavily, his hand rising to his chest.

Kei stopped, making the people behind him almost run into each other. He turned on his heel, escaping the crowd of loud idiots and teacher that made him feel all too hot. Even if it had only been a week, Kei was extremely attracted to him, so much that he didn’t want to admit. They had a session today – right after the assembly and Kei wasn’t sure if he would be able to go. Once Kei was out of the hall, he leaned against the wall, wheezing and trying to catch his breath. He knew he was having a panic attack – all those people made it too hard to breath, especially with Kuroo eye’s trailing on him the whole time.

“Are you okay?” A voice asked in a quiet tone.

Kei looked up, his hand still splattered on his chest. Kuroo was there, looking down at Kei with concern. Kei realised that Kuroo was a couple of inches taller than him, it almost made him feel small, considering nearly all teachers at school were usually shorter than himself.

“I’m fine.” Kei breathed out, “This happens sometimes. I can deal with it myself.”

“You should let people help you.”

“I don’t want to be a nuisance-“ Kei shook his head. “And you barely know me.”

“I’m aware, but I still want to help.” Kuroo shrugged, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

That was when Kei saw it – the perfect silver ring that gleamed under the hallway lights. The silver ring that sat on his third finger of his left hand. The ring that tells people they are off limits and have dedicated their life to somebody else.

“You’re married?” Kei gaped. He was surprised Kuroo never mentioned it – not even in the slightest. Kuroo looked down at his ring, twisting it with his fingers.

“I am.”

“You’re quite young to be married.”

“That’s what my parents said.” Kuroo laughed, a deep rumble coming from his chest. “I have to go back. I can’t miss it.”

“Y-yeah, okay.”

“Are you going to be okay alone? You can stay in my office if you want.” Kuroo offered, handing him a set of three keys. “It’s this one.” Kuroo held up the one that had a blue tinge to it.

 

Kei avoided the teachers as he made his way to Kuroo’s office. It was quite hidden, and away from all the other teacher’s offices. Kei jammed the key in, twisting and turning it before pushing on the door. It swung open, revealing the room as it looked before. This time, the window was closed and it was dark. The atmosphere felt empty without anyone in it. Kei leaned up, opening the small window to let fresh air in. There was so much he could explore, the files of students kept in the cabinets, or his phone that sat right on his black notebook. Kei settled for the photo frames instead, he was curious about the broken one. There was a girl, with pitch black hair with thin glasses. She wore a summery dress, with a giant smile that crunched up her nose. Her right hand was holding up the piece sign while her other was rested on her thigh. Kei squinted closer, adjusting his glasses to see whether it was _her_ but he couldn’t make it out. Kei moved onto the next photo, which had Kuroo in it with looked to be the rest of his family. The same black haired girl stood next to Kuroo, another giant smile on her face.

Kei breathed heavily, moving away from the bookshelf and towards the chairs that welcomed him. He pulled out his headphones, plugging them in. He started to play _Death Valley_ by _Fall Out Boy_. Kei usually listened to music when he had attacks like these, but this was different. It was the way Kuroo looked at him, the way he stared into him like he knew every secret he held. Kei felt his pants tighten – it wasn’t a good time, no. It was _extremely_ bad timing. He had never gotten an erection at school before – nor had he gotten it from thinking of a _teacher_. The last time he got one, was when he was fifteen and watching some R18 rated movie. Afterwards, even though not one knew what he did, he felt embarrassed, like someone had watched him doing it. Like God was watching or something. It was more embarrassing than having sex with a man. Kei squeezed his eyes shut for a second, shuffling towards the door with a grunt, and locking it with the key. He wouldn’t want Kuroo walking in on him. Kei didn’t know what he was thinking, jerking off in such a room – he wouldn’t be able to look it at the same way again. Kei’s face was hot – his lower half was hot and he couldn’t contain it anymore. Kei tugged his earphones out, placing them on the desk. His jeans felt tighter by the second, and his hand was already half way unzipping his pants. He sucked his breath in when he pulled out his throbbing-

A knock at the door made his heart jump out of his chest. Kei panicked, zipping up his pants with one motion.

“Kei? Are you okay?” Kuroo’s muffled voice asked from the other side.

Kei swore in his mind, his erection still tightening his pants. He pulled down his shirt, covering his jeans as much as he could. He unlocked the door, slowly and praying Kuroo wouldn’t notice anything. His cheeks still felt hot – and he was only now just registering what he was about to do it _that_ room.

“S-sorry.” Kei bowed slightly, avoiding all eye contact.

Kuroo smiled, calmly. “Do you feel better now? I had to talk about my job as a psychologist to get more people motivated to talk to me. The assembly is still going but I thought I’d check up on you.”

“I-I’m fine. Just listening to music.”

Kuroo smirked, leaning towards Kei’s ear. “You should go take care of that in the bathroom.” He whispered before turning on his heel and walking off.

 

 

_“Hey, Kei!” Akiteru waved at him from afar. “Come here!”_

_Kei watched as his brother walked further away from him, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t move. His mouth wouldn’t work and he was frozen on the spot. The only thing he saw was whiteness, a bright glow of white._

_Things changed. One second, he couldn’t move and then the other, he was on his bed with a faceless figure hovering over him. The figure had the same hair as Kuroo – the same skin tone. The faceless figure was panting, looking down at him –_

Kei awoke – a pile of mess. He felt sweat drip down his neck. The morning sun shined into his eyes as he picked up his glasses from the bedside table. Kei panted, his head falling into his hands. Now – he was dreaming about him. There was definitely something wrong with Kei, having only meeting this Kuroo guy a few times and he was already a mess. Getting hard – in his _office_ and having dreams about a faceless figure that was _so_ much like Kuroo. He would rather have dreams of his brother than that, anytime.

 

 

At exactly 7:35am, Kei arrived at the school library, expected to meet Yamaguchi before classes started. They tried to do this every Tuesday, and help each other study and plan when they were going to meet next. And no surprise, Yamaguchi was already there, reading some book with no cover. Kei made his way over to him and sat down with no word.

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi smiled, shutting his book. “Did you hear about the party?”

“A party?” Kei raised his eyebrows. “What kind?”

“A birthday party, but also Halloween. It’s my cousins, who goes here. He’s hot. I think you would like him.” Yamaguchi bumped him with his elbow as he rambled on. “But yeah, he’s having this giant party with like the whole school. And you’re coming with me.”

A party wasn’t such a bad thing – but he preferred gay bars than giant parties any day.

“Why me?” Kei groaned. He pulled out his phone, along with his earplugs.

“’Cause I think you need to let loose.” He grinned. “It’s important to forget about your problems once in a while.”

“I don’t think I’m in the mood...”

“Oh, come on! It’s Halloween themed! Don’t you like Halloween?”

“It’s boring to me.” Kei exasperated with a sigh. “Count me out.”

“Tsukki.” Yamaguchi whined. “Please come.”

Of course, Kei had to take that in the dirty way. It was all the seemed to be on his mind nowadays.

“Promise to stay with me the whole time.”

“Yeah!”

“Fine.” Kei agreed, regretting it instantly.

It wasn’t that he hated Halloween, but his brother’s anniversary was on the same day and no matter how much he distracted himself, it would still be on his mind.

“Hey.” Kei changed the subject, “About Kuroo….”

“What about him?”

“You know he’s married, right?” Kei intoned. “I didn’t think-“

“I know.” Yamaguchi chuckled. “But our kissing wasn’t on purpose. So, it wasn’t like he cheated. Why do you keep talking about him?”

“N-no reason.” Kei shook his head, quickly plugging in his headphones and turning up the volume to full – blocking out all noises around him.

_Kuroo smirked, leaning towards Kei’s ear. “You should go take care of that in the bathroom.” He whispered before turning on his heel and walking off._

_Kei stood there a couple of seconds, trying to register in his mind what Kuroo had said to him – in such a husky voice that turned him on even more. There was something desperately wrong with Kei – something about Kuroo made him weak, after only knowing him for so little time. The next time Kei saw him; he was going to cancel their deal. He was going to tell his parents he was getting bullied and wanted to go to the religious school down the street. Anything to get away from Kuroo, anything to get away from this feeling. In fact, he was going to tell him tomorrow, yes. By tomorrow evening, Kei would fake leaving. But – Kei didn’t know how he would even look at him after this incident. Kuroo caught him – in mid-erection, in his office. Kei broke out in a full blush, wanting to sink into the ground._

__

It was Kei’s free period when he decided to make his way to Kuroo’s office. The quiet halls made his stomach churn even more. The usual noisy hallways masked his own thoughts and distracted him. But this time, with sweaty hands and a dizzy vision, Kei shuffled his way towards the office. The same office he sat in only a day ago, in a _very_ embarrassing state. There would be a possibility of him being right in the middle of a session, but Kuroo was a _psychologist_ and should be available for anyone at any time, no matter what. He could always fake having a panic attack, it wasn’t all that hard. All he would have to is breath hard and act like he was dying. Simple. But Kei wasn’t a good actor or liar. He would use the ‘we need to talk’ method, and make it sound convincing. It was true, they needed to talk.

Kei stopped at the door, listening to this thumping heart. His knuckled clacked against the wood and a few murmured voices came from inside. He felt guilt fill his stomach. Kuroo was having a session, with someone. No. Not guilt. Jealousy.

A few seconds later the door was slightly ajar, Kuroo’s head peeped out. His hair was messier than usual and sticking up everywhere.

“Can we talk?” Kei swallowed tightly, trying his best to remain eye contact. “It’s important.”

Kuroo looked back into his room for a second. “Of course, Kei. It will be quick, right?”

Kei nodded, only because he didn’t trust his own voice. The sickness in his stomach told him he should keep his mouth shut but when Kuroo closed the door – he was all words.

“I realised, I can’t do this. It’s not for me.” Kei informed, breathing heavily. “Even if you keep bugging me. I can’t do this – not with you. Not with anyone.”

Kuroo crossed his arms against his chest, staring at him with a casual look. “If it’s about yesterday-“

“It’s got nothing to do with that.” Kei shook his head. “I don’t need a diary. Especially one that’s alive.”

“You’re panicking over nothing, Kei.”

“I’m not panicking.” Kei mumbled. “I’m simply trying to tell you-“

“This is only the second week. You’re not giving me a chance.” Kuroo shook his head, clamping his hand onto Kei’s shoulder. “Go wash your face, clam down. I’ll see you on Thursday, okay, Kei? Maybe you could tell me what’s causing all these panic attacks, yeah?”

And with a click, Kuroo was back in his office, door locked. Kei felt ignored, and mostly he felt irritated. There was nothing Kuroo could do to make him show up at the session on Thursday – it was the easiest thing to avoid.

Before Kei knew it, he was making his way to the bathroom. The unusualness in his stomach rose even more – and in a flash, he was bent over a toilet gutting up his lunch. Kei wiped his mouth, using his other hand to flush the sickness away. His vision was blurry as he splashed water on his face. He took a good look in the mirror.

He was paler than usual, his golden-brown eyes stood out with his blonde hair that seemed to have grown a bit over the past month. The bags under his eyes told him he needed more sleep – he needed more time to grieve. Even if it already almost been a year since his death – nothing was going to make him get over it. Akiteru was the only one he could truly tell all his problems too. Not some attractive twenty-something year old teacher that flirted with all his patients. Kei feared falling in love – or scared that he already had fallen in love at first sight. In his mind, it seemed ridiculous. Falling in love right when you see someone and when you don’t even know a little thing about them. Not that Kei had experienced that kind of love. But this feeling Kuroo gave him, Kei wondered if it that was what love felt like.

If so, Kei didn’t want to feel it anymore.

 

 

A few hours later, Kei awoke to a loud shouting that seemed muffled. When he opened his eyes, the ceiling lights blinded him immediately.

“Oh, you’re awake!” A high-pitched voice came from the other side of the room.

Kei sat up against the pillows, realising he was in the nurse’s office. The lady, all in white, sat a few feet away knitting to look what be a blue and white scarf.

“What happened?” Kei asked as he slid his glasses back on. He couldn’t remember anything – he was in the bathroom and then, nothing.

“You fainted. You have a fever…” The nurse hummed, not looking up. “You’re sick. You should avoid coming to school for the next few days.”

_Thank God_

“H-how did I get here?”

“Mr. Kuroo carried you here. It was lucky he found you. Otherwise your fever would have gotten worse from those cold tiles. Isn’t he great?” The nurse blinked dreamily, her mascara rubbing on her cheek.

“M-Mr. Kuroo did?”

“Yes. He’s the school psychologist-“

“I know…” Kei gripped the sheets tightly between his fist. “I’m aware.”


	3. Ephemeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ephemeral - lasting for a very short time
> 
> *trigger warning: mentions of suicide and cheating*
> 
> hello my lovelies!! im back with a new chapter, and its a little late because i wasnt happy at all with the  
> diary part (youll see) no matter how many times i wrote it, it was horrible. ( i also had exams)  
> but i wanted to post a new chapter for you all!! even tho i dont like this chapter all that much tbh....  
> i love comments and kudos <3 (to keep me encouraged :])
> 
>  
> 
> (p.s sorry for any mistakes)

 

**End of Week 2**

_“What do you want to be when you’re out of school?” Kei asked his brother one day when they were outside passing a ball back and forth. It was something they did regularly when they wanted to have serious talk. Sometimes, they said nothing at all. Sometimes, that was the best for both. But other days’ words would be spilling out. It was like they had no one else but each other. Akiteru was Kei’s only true friend, and brother._

_Akiteru eyes shined, throwing the ball back with a push. “I want to be someone people can remember me by.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I mean I want people to remember me from something I did. That’s good, obviously.”_

_“Who cares what people think.” Kei rolled his eyes, twisting the ball in his hands. “Bad or good, there’s too many people in the world to be remembered if you’re no one.”_

_Akiteru grinned, “That’s a dark way to look at it.”_

Kei remembered the first time he had a panic attack. He was thirteen years old, oblivious to the words ‘anxiety’ and ‘panic attacks’. But the overwhelming sink in his stomach made him feel different somehow. When he was almost forced to stand in front of the everyone – the entire school and say a few words. It was in that moment when he felt an overcome of fear – anxiety and other feelings he had never felt. Kei wiped the sweat off his palms as he walked to the stage, thousands of eyes on his. He couldn’t do it- he would be speechless once he got up there. Kei wanted to sink into the ground but instead, dropped his paper and ran to the closest door. He was found behind a building, legs under his chin and tears streaming down his face. His breathing rapid, he couldn’t stop hyperventilating. Kei’s hand was splattered against his chest, hearing the beats go faster than they should.

“Did you get any help after that?” Kuroo asked, bringing Kei out of his flashback. He was sitting in the abnormally quiet office on a Thursday afternoon. He could barely remember walking here, or sitting down. The room was airy, birds whistling just outside the window. It smelt like cinnamon and fresh air, the wind blew outside while the trees swayed.

“I refused.” Kei shook his head. “People told me it would go away eventually, that everyone is shy but I think people don’t understand the difference between social anxiety and plain shyness.”

“I think there’s a big difference. Some people are shy, but some people have anxiety along with that shyness.” Kuroo nodded, agreeing. “Do you think it has gone now, Kei?”

“After my brother died I decided I don’t give a shit anymore. Honestly, I’m still shy at times and get panic attacks but-“

“But?”

“But I feel comfortable with you. I mean I feel like I can say anything.” Kei shrugged, breaking eye contact. “My brother was the only one who I could talk to with like this.”

Kuroo smiled as he leaned forward in his chair, placing his elbows on the desk. His hair falling into his eyes. “I hope to know more about you, Kei.”

“Y-yeah.” Kei stuttered. “How did you find me the other day? In the bathroom....”

“I came to find you, I was worried.” Kuroo chuckled. “I found you passed out on the floor – my heart almost died. Luckily I found you otherwise you would’ve gotten worse. How do you feel now?”

“Fine.” Kei lied, his stomach had been playing all week. He didn’t know if it was these feelings Kuroo was inserting or if he was sick. His mother told him he was being ridiculous and pushed him out the door. He wished he could’ve used it as an excuse not to see Kuroo – but here he is, with blushed cheeks and an upset stomach. “Do you think being gay is wrong?”

“Gay?”

“Mhm…I was just wondering.”

“Are you having problems with your sexuality?” Kuroo furrowed his eyebrows, looking intrigued as ever.

Kei blinked. “I don’t know. I don’t know who I am.”

“You’re only seventeen, you have plenty of time to figure it out.” Kuroo pointed out. He tucked a few things away in his drawers.

“I know but…” Kei trailed off. “I’ve slept with guys before.”

“Only guys?”

Kei nodded, because he didn’t trust his own words. Like, _I wish I could sleep with you_ or _fix your hair_ or _watch you while you’re sleeping_. The feelings Kuroo made him feel were something entirely out of Kei’s reach. It was something he’d never thought he would get to experience.

“Guys you don’t even like?”

“Strangers. I wake up and they are gone. So I don’t even know their name.”

“You shouldn’t do that anymore. It’s not good for your mental health. Trust me, all kinds of diseases can be spread from doing that.” Then he does this frown, a disappointed kind. And somehow, that simple sentence convinced him to stop. He wouldn’t go around sleeping with strangers anymore, he would keep himself for….for when he’s older, or for Kuroo, if that was possible.

“Now tell me something. If you wouldn’t mind.”

“Go ahead.”

“I want to know…” Kei bit his lip, drawing blood. “about your wife. Is that her in those pictures?”

Kuroo craned his head around, eyeing the broken frame of the pretty black haired girl before he turned back, looking Kei dead in the eye. Even the way he looked at him made Kei feel different. “Yeah. Her name is Kiyoko Shimizu.”

“She’s pretty.”

“She’s terribly sick.” Kuroo explained, tapping his pencil against the desk. “We got married asap when we found out.” Kuroo snatched a tissue from the box and held it out to Kei.

Kei blushed, taking the tissue and wiping his lip. “I’m sorry, about that.”

“I guess it’s her fate.”

“Horrible fate.” Kei dabbed his lip, looking up the clock that hung above the desk. Ten minutes left.

Kuroo leaned back in his chair, starring at him with open eyes. “What was your childhood like, Kei?”

“My childhood?” Kei raised his eyebrows, thinking back to when he was younger. “I don’t remember much, just memories with my brother and school.”

“That’s all?”

Kei nodded. “Why?”

Kuroo shrugged. “No reason.”

 

**Friday Night**

Kei stared at the blue door before him. The blue wasn’t bright anymore – neither was the paint still intact. The paint was peeling off and the rotting wood underneath could be shown. The blue had died the same night he did. It stopped shinning, it stopped being a bedroom and became useless space. Kei hadn’t stepped a foot near the eerie room since a few months ago when he walked in without a thought to find something he lost. The feelings that rested in his stomach that night made him feel sick. But this time, Kei needed to do this. He wanted to know what Akiteru was dealing with – what he wasn’t telling Kei. There had to be something behind it. Luckily for him, his parents were out at some business dinner and it made it much easier to sneak inside. His parents don’t dear touch that room.

Kei extended his arm, opening the door with one push. It creaked and a created a bang when it contacted the wall. It was dark – quiet and Kei felt like running back to his own bed and sleeping but he couldn’t turn back. Kei already felt himself stepping towards the darkness, flicking on the lights to a dusty and untouched room. It was messy, with an unmade bed, a volleyball in one corner and clothes hanging out of his closet. There were also a few things tucked under his bed that Kei had always been curious about – so that was the first thing he approached. Kei kneeled on the dusty carpet, the only thing filling his ears was the dog barking next door. It kept him calm. Kei pulled out a black bag, which was only stuffed with volleyball clothes and gear – until he reached the bottom.

An unusual black diary.

It made Kei’s stomach sink – because he knew this was Akiteru’s diary. The one that he specifically told Kei not to touch when he was little. But Kei had too. He couldn’t leave this unread. There were too many questions buzzing his mind.

The first page read

Akiteru Tsukishima

_Born March 8 1994_

_Death October 31 2015_

Kei shivered, his stomach feeling sick and he felt like fainting. He had written his own death date down – it his own handwriting. Something about this book made Kei sick with fear. It was full of secrets Kei could possibly found out – even though his brother was no longer here, he still felt it was bad. Kei flicked a few pages, stopping in the middle.

 

**October 20 th 2015**

_It had been a few weeks since I last saw my psychiatrist. He scolded me for not talking my medication. I couldn’t help it. I felt as it didn’t help me at all and made me more depressed. The pills reminded me of what’s wrong with me – of the scars on my stomach. I had tried not to look at them too much. Kuroo always reminded me they were beautiful – and kissed them with his perfect lips. It’s not unusual, ever since we slept together we have been doing it frequently. We both know it’s wrong. He’s sleeping with one of his patients that’s a minor. And in a few months, Kuroo would be becoming the psychiatrist of the local high school, which made it worse. Next week, when I see him, I’m calling quits because I planned my end date. Not that I was going to tell him that._

Kei was too shocked for words. He was holding in a breath, his hands shaking.

He felt anger and sadness at the same time. His brother knew Mr. Kuroo – Mr. Kuroo knew who he was. It all made sense now. Akiteru was dealing with depression that Kei had no clue about. Akiteru always seemed happy, cheerful, you wouldn’t think he was depressed. Not even a little bit. The thing that didn’t register was the fact that Kuroo and Akiteru had slept together and it was only last year. Did that mean Kuroo was cheating on his sick wife? What kind of _husband_ would do that? Kei stood, dropping the diary and wavering back and forth as he rushed to the bathroom. He threw up everything his stomach held. There were no more secrets, Kei regretted it. He regretted it all.

 

 

 

The next morning, Kei had texted Yamaguchi telling him he couldn’t make it to the stupid birthday party that he was forced to go to. He used the excuse of being sick and throwing up that alcohol would make it worse. But Yamaguchi wasn’t having it, instead, he decided to come around for a ‘sleepover’. Kei convinced him he was terribly sick and if he did come around that he would surely catch it too. It seemed to work and now Kei was all alone in his bedroom with nothing to distract him. If only he had Kuroo’s number, or some sort of contact to him. It had only been 2 weeks since he walked into that office. But in those two weeks Kei had felt things he never thought he would. And found out secrets he never knew happened. His brother was an entirely different person to who he thought. He had slept with Kuroo, who knew how many times and was depressed. His ‘accident’ was suicide, not an _accident_. Did his parents know? Was Kei the only one who did?

Kei sighed, snatching his phone from his bedside table. He didn’t want to be alone. He wanted Yamaguchi to be with him – to distract him from this mess. From these feelings and thoughts that was taking over his life.

 

When the doorbell rang fifteen minutes later, Kei wasn’t wasting anytime. He swung the door open with eager and pressed his lips passionately into Yamaguchi’s.

 _It feels different_. Kei thought.

But when Kei pulled away, it indeed wasn’t Yamaguchi, but was in fact Kuroo Tetsurou, standing in front of him with flushed cheeks.

“W-What the _fuck_ are you doing _here_?”


	4. Untoward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Untoward - unexpected and inappropriate
> 
> hello lovelies!! im back with a new chapter after a long time. im sorry its taken so long. blame yuri on ice, ive been working on my fanfictions for that because i love it so much. but dont worry cause kurotsuki is still in my heart. also a lot of you guys have been asking me to update and once i started writing i couldnt stop! also, i was thinking about making this a longer fanfiction since i have actually have ideas that could work with this story. if youd like for me to continue longer or stop next chapter then tell me in the comments :) also leave a kudos if you havent <3

This wasn’t how Kei envisioned his first kiss with Kuroo, his psychologist or whatever you would call him. In his dreams, Kei would confess with blushed cheeks.

The feeling in stomach that Kuroo gave him was frequently amatory, and it would grow stronger when Kuroo would shut him with a soft kiss to the lips. Kei wondered if it was humanly possible to fall in love in such little time and with not knowing much about the other person.

Technically, in a few months, Kei wasn’t a minor but he still felt numbing guilt. The insecurities would float to the top of his mind even at times like these. His parents would lose their shit if they saw what just went on.

But, his brother was in the same boat.

Even if he had been dead.

“I’m sorry.” Kuroo bit his lip, acting like nothing happened.

Kei mentally screamed.

“Answer my question. I thought you were someone else.”

Kuroo tucked his hands into his jeans – those tight jeans and rocked back on his heel. “I was thinking of you and I need to tell you something.”

“I don’t think there’s much to tell.” Kei crossed his arms, watching Kuroo’s lurid eyes graze over him. But all Kei could think was that Kuroo thought of him – out of all the patients he had, he was thinking of _Kei_.

“No, no. There’s heaps of explaining to do.”

Kei almost clicks his tongue. “Like, what?”

It was hard, acting like Kei was clueless about his brother and all. Kei could imagine it clearly. The way Kuroo would kiss down his brother’s stomach, the scars that he had no idea about. It made him bloom with jealousy at the thought of them together. It was all messed up, Kuroo’s a cheater. And Kei is in love with his brother’s left overs.

It was like Kuroo could see right through him, and figure out he wasn’t mad but more embarrassed by the kiss they _just_ shared no longer than a minute ago.

Kuroo sighed while rubbing the back of his neck. Open mouthed, hesitation as words spill out. “I’m not married.”

Kei froze. Only managing to get one word out. “What?”

“I was married. Two years ago, she left me.” Kuroo explained with slight tears gathering in his eyes.

There was too many secrets Kei had yet to find out. And it scared the hell out of him. What was the next thing? That Kuroo had been in love with his brother the whole time? Kei’s head was spinning, short of breath and a fast pulse.

He breathed heavily. “W-why? Did you cheat on her or something?”

Kuroo shook his head with slight hurt displayed on his face. Not the best thing to spurt out in the moment. But Kuroo wasn’t the only one who felt like crying right now.

“It’s taken years to figure out who I am. I opened to her, I told her that I’m bisexual. She…” Kuroo’s eyes trailed on the concrete floor. “She was furious, Kei. She treated me the same way as my family.”

Kei let a tear fall down his cheek. “Is that why you were _sleeping_ with my brother?”

Kuroo looked up at him with shock, and before Kei knew it, Kuroo had him pinned against the wall with their faces only inches apart. Their breath was combining, and Kei felt like fainting against him. Kuroo surely could hear and feel his pounding heart right about now. Because it was the only thing Kei could hear.

“You found out?” Kuroo asked in a quiet voice. Kei’s never seen him so small, it made him want to wrap him into a warm embrace.

“F-from my brothers diary.” Kei struggled in grasp but wasn’t nearly as strong enough. Kuroo choked out a sob, leaning his head into Kei’s chest with painful tears. “I can’t believe…”

There was silence, the only sounds of pounding hearts and sobs. Kei was thankful that their front yard was private, instead of exposing for the whole world to see their life problems.

“We weren’t together.” Kuroo managed to choke out, and dare Kei try to catch a glimpse of his crying face. “It was something we did to comfort each other. Like fuck friends or something stupid.”

“N-no…”

“Just wait, Kei. Hear me out. Please.”

The begging in his voice kept Kei quiet, because with every sob his heart shattered even more. Kei thought he had it bad, but Kuroo seemed to have it way, way worse than he had imagined.

“He told me about you, a lot. He made you seem like this perfect, amazing person. He showed me photos, told me stories.” A deep breath, tears soaked his shirt. “He told me to look out for you. To make sure that you’ll be fine. I wasn’t sure what he meant at the time, but then I heard about what happened…”

“I can’t believe-“

“It took me ages to finally reach out to you. I had been watching you for the past year, and you seemed fine. Until, I saw you having a panic attack one time. That was when I knew I needed to help you.”

Kei broke out in full blush, realising that Kuroo had known about him long before Kei knew he existed. It felt all surreal, all these things he had no clue about – he could’ve spent an extra year knowing, and falling for whoever this guy is.

“I can’t believe this.” Kei finally said with a choked voice. Everything was spinning – his whole world was crazy.

Why did a panic attack have to start up now?  He breathed in a sharp breath. His knees almost giving out on him, but Kuroo held him by the upper arms. The skin contact made Kei breathless, dizzy. It was too hard process, especially in this position. Kei’s heart could burst any minute, or, what if his parents found them like this? It was something Kei imagined frequently, what if his parents found him in the middle of sex – or something innocent as cuddling?

Kei exhales, looking up at Kuroo with tears streaming down his face. “Why….Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t just tell you.” Kuroo breaths out, wiping his tears gently with his thumb. “I was waiting for you to open up with me.”

Kei pushed against his chest with his hand, looking away from the hard stare. “You shouldn’t be so close. It’s wrong.”

Kuroo stares, as Kei’s blush gets deeper every blink. Is he leaning closer? Kei can’t tell, until their lips are practically touching. It was the same as before – the kiss that felt so good. Something Kei never thought existed in real life, but here he was. Lip against lips with the one person he thought was out of his league.

Kei wrapped his arms around his neck without thinking. The only thing on his mind was Kuroo, and the electrifying deep kiss they shared together. Kuroo’s hands stay glued to his upper arms, but their lips still move against each other, smoothly.

Kei pulls away first – otherwise he would have suffocated. He could barely look Kuroo in the eyes, knowing he done something so wrong with his own psychologist. But also knowing his brother had also done this made him feel sick to the stomach.

“I’m in love with you, Kei.” Kuroo admitted with a stern expression – looking him straight in the eyes.

Kei covered his face with his hands, looking at Kuroo’s attractive face between the cracks of his fingers. The tingly ache in his chest told him to do something, but he felt completely frozen.

“Is it okay to feel this way?” Kei questioned in a croaky voice, leaning his head against the brick wall that he was still pushed up against. Not that he minded, really.

Kuroo peeled around his hands, bringing it up to his lips and kissing them softly. “I think it’s okay.”

And, Kei couldn’t help but start to cry all over again. The overwhelming chemical of happiness, something he had rarely felt in the past year. Kuroo wasn’t his cure, the only cure to himself was positivity and he could get there if he tried.

Kei concentrated on the floor. “I’ll be eighteen soon.”

“I know.” Kuroo planted a small kiss on his cheek.

“Can you wait until then?”

“Are you talking about sex?” Kuroo raised his eyebrows in surprise, watching the shocked expression take over Kei.

Kei flushed. “I’m not. I’m talking about us. Once I turn eighteen it won’t be as a big deal. I’m graduating next year.”

Kuroo leaned forward with an intention, his fringe ticking Kei’s skin. “Are you saying you’re also in love with me?”

“I guess that’s what these feelings are.” Kei murmured – initiating the third kiss they share.

 

-

 

**Week 3**

 

Over the rest of the weekend, Kei had never felt the best. Even his parents had to double take, because he was actually _singing_ his songs out loud in his room, alone. Everything felt right, Kuroo confessed and Kei had barely thought about his brother since a few days ago. But now it was Monday and Kei had to forcefully push himself out of the warmth of his bed. He hadn’t seen Kuroo since Friday, and was eager to catch a glance of his perfectly structured features.

Although, they had been texting back and forth all weekend until early morning. Even the thought of it made Kei blush, and a fuzzy warmth in his chest.

But these feelings subsided once he stepped into the horrifying halls of high school. People making out against lockers, chewing gum stuck on the floor. But this time – it felt different. Usually, when Kei walked into school, no one took notice of the guy who always had his earphones in with music blasting. Though this time, everyone seemed to be looking over at him.

Kei felt confused at first, wondering if people could hear his music – but once he turned it off, everyone still looked.

It made him feel self-conscious. Aware of his surroundings and movements. He didn’t like this one bit. Being in the centre of attention was one thing, but even worse when he didn’t know what for. Everywhere he looked, eyes were on him. So many eyes, piercing into his skin with words behind those whispers – and Kei wouldn’t have guessed they were kind.  

Kei was trembling with guilt. His mind swirling with unnecessary thoughts and ideas of what could’ve made them like this.

_Do they know?_

_What happened?_

_What happened?_

_What the fuck happened?_

“Who do _you_ think you are?” A girl spat at him while walking past, holding a dirty look in her eyes. Kei felt his skin shiver, looking around for the nearest restroom possible.

They obviously found out. Somehow, everyone had found out. What else could it be? Kei wasn’t allowed to be happy for more than two days, it was impossible. Nothing could go the right way for him.

His parents would find out – he would be forced to go to a religious school. Kuroo would get fired because of him, everything will be blamed on him.

Kei breathed heavily – running into a stall and slamming it behind him. Everything was spinning – words were floating around his head. Scenarios were being played out in his head over and over. He can already feel the stinging burn of his father’s hand against his cheek. The slight sound of his heart shattering at Kuroo’s rejection. The teacher’s disgusted look, and their punishment for him.

_Incoming Call (Kuroo)_

Kei’s stomach sinks, the anxious swirling around his insides as he answers the call with hesitation.

_Inhale_

“Kei? Are you alright? I need you to come to my office, right now. Don’t worry about class or anything. It’s important, please, come. Now. Kei?”

_Exhale_

Kei’s eyes water with tears. “I’m sorry.”

Kuroo sighs with annoyance hinted in his tone. Kei felt his chest ache with every breath. “Come, right now.”

 

-

 

Once the bell rang, Kei stood outside of Kuroo’s office in a nervous state. Luckily, no one except for a few stray students had been roaming the halls. He couldn’t take anymore knives digging into him, and he barely prepared himself for Kuroo’s rejection.

“H-hello?” Kei called in a strangled voice, knocking slightly on the door as he peered into the room.

It was summery like usual, with the window open and fresh breeze blowing the curtains. Kuroo sat at his desk with papers, pens, and a distressed expression. Kei took a deep breath, embracing himself for the worst that could possibly happen.

“I asked you to come right away.” Kuroo looked up at Kei with worried eyes, standing up from his seat with eager. “Why did you wait?”

Kei avoided eye contact, admiring the paintings that sit on the wall. “I didn’t want to see people.”

Kuroo stopped in front of him – staring for a few seconds before brushing a couple of hair strands back. It reminded Kei to get a haircut soon, but he doesn’t know when he will ever get time. “Were you having a panic attack?”

“K-kind of.” Kei stepped back in shock, wringing his hands together nervously.

Kuroo sighed under his breath, a second of hurt displayed in his eyes. But immediately disappeared when Kuroo held out a picture printed on paper for him to see.

Kei took it with trembling hands, fixing his askew glasses. And there they were, both in the picture clear as day. Kuroo and Kei, against the wall in a liplock.

Kei let the picture slip from his hands and float to the floor, feeling dizzier by the second. His street was always quiet – no one from school lives on it, who could it have been?

“Yamaguchi.” Kei whispered under his breath – placing his hand on his forehead.

“Is that who you were expecting instead of me? Do you think he took the photo? Kei, you need to calm down. Breath.” Kuroo instructed carefully, guiding Kei to the chair.

“Did the whole school see this?” Kei hyperventilated. “That’s why they were staring at me? What about the-the teachers? Or the principal? My parents. My _parents_ they _can’t_ find out.”

Kuroo rubbed his shoulders in comfort. “It was hung up on the billboard outside the music room early this morning. The music class were the only ones to see it. One of them managed to steal it but I took it off them. Now they don’t have proof.”

Kei sniffled, already drowning in his own tears. “My l-life is over.”

Kuroo pulled him close to his chest, gently caressing his hair. “We’re going to be fine. I promise.”


End file.
